Smokin Aces 2 Assassins Ball

  • Directors: P J Pesce
  • Producers: Tom Abrams, Joe Carnahan
  • Writers: Olatunde Osunsanmi, Olumide Odebunmi, Tom Abrams, P J Pesce, Joe Carnahan
  • Genres: Action, Comedy, Crime, Mystery
  • Actors: Tom Berenger, Vinnie Jones, Tommy Flanagan, Michael Parks, Ernie Hudson

Walter Weed is an unassuming desk jockey at the FBI when the Bureau uncovers a plot to assassinate him. A team of degenerate, psychotic assassins dispatched by mystery man Hal Leuco to win a huge bounty includes a resourceful beauty who has a unique method of killing her prey, a power-tool wielding psychopath and a deadly master of disguise.

X Men The Last Stand

  • Directors: Brett Ratner
  • Producers: Lauren Shuler Donner, Ralph Winter, Avi Arad
  • Writers: Screenplay, Simon Kinberg, Zak Penn, Comic Book, Stan Lee, Jack Kirby
  • Genres: Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi, Thriller
  • Actors: Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Famke Janssen, Anna Paquin, Kelsey Grammer, James Marsden, Rebecca Romijn, Shawn Ashmore, Aaron Stanford, Vinnie Jones, Ellen Page, Ben Foster

A pharmaceutical company called Worthington Labs announces that it has developed an inoculation to permanently suppress the X-gene that gives mutants their powers, offering the so-called “cure” to any mutant who wants it; the cure is derived from a mutant boy named Jimmy. While some mutants are interested in the cure, including the X-Men’s Rogue, many others are horrified by the announcement. In response to the news, the X-Men’s adversary Magneto begins to raise an army, warning his followers that, like his experiences in the Holocaust, the cure will be forcefully used to exterminate the mutant race.

Cyclops, still heartbroken about the loss of Jean Grey, returns to Alkali Lake, where Jean sacrificed herself to save the X-Men. He hears her voice and begs for it to stop, finally taking off his sunglasses and his eye beam shoots through the water. Jean then appears out of the water to Cyclops, and as the two kiss, Jean changes and appears to kill Cyclops. Sensing trouble, Professor Charles Xavier sends Wolverine and Storm to investigate. When they arrive, the two X-Men encounter telekinetically floating rocks, Cyclops’ glasses, and an unconscious Jean. Meanwhile Magneto ambushes a military transport and frees Juggernaut, Mystique and Multiple Man, during which Mystique blocks a shot of the mutant cure aimed at Magneto, only to be left behind because she is not “one of them” anymore.

Following the closing credits, Dr. Moira MacTaggert checks on a comatose patient who greets her with Xavier’s voice, implying that he has transferred his mind into this new body.

Swordfish

  • Directors: Dominic Sena
  • Producers:
  • Writers: Skip Woods
  • Genres: Action, Thriller, Crime
  • Actors: Hugh Jackman, John Travolta, Halle Berry, Don Cheadle, Vinnie Jones

Stanley Jobson (Jackman) is an elite hacker who infected the FBI’s Carnivore program with a potent computer virus, delaying its deployment by several years. For this, he was arrested by Agent Roberts (Cheadle), convicted of computer crimes and spent two years in Leavenworth. A condition of his parole is that he is forbidden from touching, much less using, a computer. His ex-wife, Melissa, has sole custody over their daughter Holly and some form of restraining order against Stanley from seeing Holly.

While Stanley is at home in rural Texas practicing his golf swing, a woman named Ginger Knowles (Berry) shows up to solicit his hacking skills for her boss Gabriel Shear (John Travolta). For an initial $100,000 he agrees to meet with Gabriel. He and Ginger fly to Los Angeles, California and meet Gabriel in a night club. Gabriel pressures Stanley right then and there to hack a government system in 60 seconds while simultaneously being held at gun point and having fellatio performed on him by a young woman. Although it was just a test (the gun was not loaded) Stanley succeeded in hacking the system, a feat that Gabriel had not anticipated.

At Gabriel’s house he convinces Stanley to write a worm for $10 million that steals money from a secret government slush fund on the order of $9.5 billion. Gabriel reveals to Stanley that he works for an organization called the Black Cell that was started by J. Edgar Hoover in the 1950s, which is responsible for retaliatory attacks against terrorists who have attacked Americans. It is currently headed by Senator Reisman (Sam Shepard). Reisman discovers that the FBI has caught onto Gabriel and attempts to pull the plug. After Gabriel refuses to terminate plans Reisman attempts to have Gabriel killed, which fails. Gabriel tracks the Senator down while he is fly fishing in Bend, Oregon and kills Reisman.

The end of the film shows Ginger and “Gabriel” in Monte Carlo transferring that $9.5B into other accounts. The final scene shows a yacht being destroyed and a news anchor voice narrating that a suspected terrorist died on that yacht, although the DVD version contains an alternate ending wherein Ginger is told in the bank that the account is already empty, alluding to the possibility that Stanley has played one final trick on them and taken the money himself.

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

  • Directors: Guy Ritchie
  • Producers: Matthew Vaughn
  • Writers: Guy Ritchie
  • Genres: Comedy, Crime, Thriller
  • Actors: Jason Flemyng, Dexter Fletcher, Nick Moran, Jason Statham, Steven Mackintosh, Vinnie Jones, Sting

Long-time friends; Bacon, Soap, Tom and Eddie decide to put together ВЈ100,000 to play 3 card brag against “Hatchet” Harry Lonsdale – a porn king of notorious disposition – in a high-stakes card game in the hopes of winning easy money. Aided by Barry “the Baptist”, Harry’s personal bodyguard and trusted counsel, the game is fixed so that Eddie, the card shark representing the group, loses to Harry and is forced to pay a ВЈ500,000 debt within one week, citing the loss of fingers and Eddie’s father’s bar if he fails to pay. To Eddie’s fortune, and the dismay of his friends, all four of the group are tasked with honouring this debt, as they were all responsible for fronting the stake money. Harry’s loyal and violent debt collector, Big Chris – who often brings his son and apprentice, Little Chris, to his work – is assigned to collect the payment on the due date.

After several days and no ideas to come up with the money, Eddie returns home and overhears his neighbours, a gang of thieves known for robbing drug dealers, planning a heist on some marijuana growers supposedly loaded with cash and drugs. Eddie relays this information to the group, intending for all of them to rob the neighbours as they come back from their heist, therefore solving the debt. Tom uses his connection with an underground dealer, known as Nick “the Greek”, to provide them with guns for the job, and to find someone to help them move the drugs. Nick then manages to acquire a pair of antique shotguns, and arrange a deal with Rory Breaker, a gangster and sociopath, to purchase the stolen weed.

The remaining friends were arrested, but were declared innocent after the traffic warden from earlier identified the neighbours’ bodies as the prime suspects. The four reunite at Eddie’s father’s bar, and decide to have Tom get rid of the only evidence linking them to all the bloodshed – the shotguns. After Tom leaves, Big Chris arrives to bid them farewell, and gives them a catalogue on antique guns. Big Chris then leaves, having kept the debt money for himself and his son. A quick perusal of the book reveals that the shotguns the four had bought for the job were each worth a fortune, more than the debt money kept by Big Chris, and so they desperately try to call Tom. The film ends in a cliffhanger when Tom’s cell phone, stuffed in his mouth, starts ringing as he hangs over the side of a bridge, preparing to drop the shotguns into the River Thames.

Snatch.

  • Directors: Guy Ritchie
  • Producers: Matthew Vaughn
  • Writers: Guy Ritchie
  • Genres: Comedy, Crime, Thriller
  • Actors: Jason Statham, Stephen Graham, Dennis Farina, Vinnie Jones, Brad Pitt, Alan Ford, Lennie James, Ade, Robbie Gee, Benicio del Toro, Mike Reid

The movie begins with Turkish (Jason Statham) narrating. In Antwerp a valuable 86 carat diamond is stolen. Franky “Four-Fingers” (Benicio del Toro) takes the stone to London, but one of the Russian thieves tells him he can get a gun from Boris the Blade (Rade Serbedzija). Meanwhile Turkish and Tommy, who work in the world of unlicensed boxing matches, are preparing their fighter, Gorgeous George (Adam Fogerty) for a match. Turkish sends Tommy, his cowardly, dim-witted accomplice, to go buy a new caravan. Turkish then notices Tommy has a gun bought from Boris the Blade, as they are dealing with the leader of the unlicensed boxing world, Brick Top (Alan Ford). Brick Top is a dangerous crime lord in London who kills people who displease him, and then feeds them to pigs. He’s counting on Turkish to win this fight, which means they cannot let him down.

The Russian tells Boris that he sent Franky to buy a gun, so Boris plans to steal the stone. In New York, Jewish crime boss Abraham “Cousin Avi” Denovitz (Dennis Farina) is told Franky has the stone. Avi tells Franky to visit his cousin in London, Doug the Head (Mike Reid), an expert, so that they can sell the stone for what it’s worth. Avi also warns Franky (who is a compulsive gambler) to stay away from the casinos, especially with the diamond in tow. Franky then visits Boris, who offers him a gun if he places down a bet for an unlicensed boxing match at a bookies in Boris’ name.

The next day, the Pikeys are revealed to have left their campsite. While Turkish and Tommy are at where the Pikeys originally were, the cops show up and question them. Vinny’s dog then shows up, and they claim they were taking it for a walk. The cops let them go, and they both drive by Sol and Vinny who are also being questioned as to why they have Franky and Tony’s body in their trunk. We then cut back to the beginning of the film where Turkish and Tommy are in a room with an unknown man who is revealed to be Doug the Head. They ask him if he knows anyone who’d be interested in this diamond. Doug calmly suggests “he might”, and then calls up Avi, and who promptly heads back to London.