Lesbian Vampire Killers

  • Directors: Phil Claydon
  • Producers: Steve Clark Hall
  • Writers: Paul Hupfield, Stewart Williams
  • Genres: Action, Comedy, Horror
  • Actors: James Corden, Mathew Horne, Paul McGann, Emer Kenny, Lucy Gaskell, Louise Dylan, Ashley Mulheron, Vera Filatova, Silvia Colloca, MyAnna Buring

The Lesbian Vampire Killers plot revolves around two down-on-their-luck slackers, Fletch and Jimmy — played by Corden and Horne — who decide to temporarily escape their woes and go on holiday to a remote village, only to find that all of its women have been enslaved by lesbian vampires due to an ancient curse. Things go further awry when they hook-up with a bus-load of attractive foreign female history students and run in to the local vicar (played by Paul McGann), who seems to think that Jimmy (Horne) is the long lost descendant of a local vampire slayer.

It is set in Norfolk, but was filmed outside London on location at Luton Hoo and in Three Mills film studios in Bromley-by-Bow.

The film is a tongue-in-cheek homage to the classic Hammer Horror films and was originally slated to be the first “new” Hammer film. This, however, did not come to pass and it was ultimately Alliance and Momentum Pictures along with AV Films who finally greenlit the project.

The Descent

  • Directors: Neil Marshall
  • Producers: Christian Colson
  • Writers: Neil Marshall
  • Genres: Adventure, Drama, Horror, Thriller
  • Actors: Shauna Macdonald, Natalie Mendoza, Alex Reid, Saskia Mulder, MyAnna Buring, Nora Jane Noone

Juno (Natalie Mendoza), Sarah (Shauna Macdonald) and Beth (Alex Reid) are whitewater rafting in Scotland. Sarah’s husband Paul (Oliver Milburn) and their daughter Jessica (Molly Kayll) wave and cheer from the bank. On the drive home, a distracted Paul allows their car to drift into the path of an oncoming vehicle, causing a head-on collision. Paul and Jessica are killed instantly, but Sarah survives. One year later, Juno, Sarah, Beth, Sam (MyAnna Buring) and Rebecca (Saskia Mulder) are reunited at a rustic cabin in the Appalachian Mountains, USA. Holly (Nora-Jane Noone), Juno’s new friend, is introduced. As they reminisce over an old photo of Juno, Sarah, and Beth, Sarah says “Love each day”, explaining that it was a saying of her late husband’s. The next morning the group goes caving. When the group breaks for lunch in a huge gallery, Juno tearfully apologizes to Sarah for not being around for her after the accident, but Sarah is distant. The next passage collapses behind the group and Sarah barely makes it through. After a heated discussion, Juno admits that she has led them into an unknown cave system, instead of the fully explored cave system they had originally planned for. The only people told about their expedition think they are at the other cave system, making rescue impossible. They are trapped with no way out. Privately, Juno tells Sarah that she led them into the unknown cave hoping to restore their relationship, but Sarah rebuffs her. Pressing on, they discover a cave painting, which Beth interprets as signifying that there are two exits to the cave, giving them some hope.

Juno climbs out of the chasm and is helped onto a ledge by Sarah. Sarah asks Juno if she saw Beth die, and Juno nods. The two cautiously make their way through passages until they encounter a group of crawlers and defeat them. Sarah then faces Juno, and reveals that she has Juno’s pendant. Then Sarah swings the pickaxe at Juno. Juno makes no effort to avoid Sarah’s attack and is impaled through the leg. Juno pulls the pickaxe free and turns to face a large group of crawlers. As Sarah flees, she hears Juno’s screams, which abruptly fall silent. Sarah falls down a hole and is knocked unconscious. Sarah awakens, scrambles up a huge pile of bones towards daylight, squeezes through a narrow opening onto the surface, runs to her vehicle and speeds off. Suddenly, Sarah sees Juno sitting next to her, her face streaked with blood. Sarah screams and awakens to find herself still in the cavern. She sees her smiling daughter close by and a birthday cake between them. The field of view widens to reveal that Sarah is hallucinating. The calls of the crawlers grow louder, but Sarah is oblivious.