Semi Pro

  • Directors: Kent Alterman
  • Producers: Jimmy Miller
  • Writers: Scot Armstrong
  • Genres: Comedy, Sport
  • Actors: Will Ferrell, Woody Harrelson, Maura Tierney, David Koechner, Will Arnett, Andrew Daly, Andy Richter, Rob Corddry, Matt Walsh

Set in 1976, Jackie Moon is a singer who has used the profits from his one hit single “Love Me Sexy”, to buy a basketball team in the American Basketball Association, the Flint Tropics, becoming the owner, head coach, and starting power forward. The ABA commissioner announces plans for the ABA-NBA merger with the National Basketball Association, but only four teams will move to the more established league. The Tropics, the worst team in the league, are in danger of dissolving. In response, Jackie argues that the teams with the four best records overall should be merged into the NBA. The commissioner reluctantly accepts Jackie’s offer.

Now that the Tropics have somewhat of a shot to be an NBA franchise, Jackie trades away the team’s washing machine to the Kentucky Colonels for Ed Monix, former backup point guard for the NBA Champion Boston Celtics. Soon, the commissioner reveals that as well as having a top-four record, the Tropics will also have to have a stable fan base and have an attendance of at least 2,000 fans every remaining game of the season.

Jackie begins to promote wildly by such gimmicks as watching him wrestle a bear after the game. The Tropics begin playing better with Monix, as well as the increased intensity of Clarence “Coffee Black” Johnson. Monix soon takes over as offensive and defensive coordinators, as well as starting point guard, leaving Jackie merely the title of head coach. Monix trains the team rigorously with a play he calls the “puke”, as the players are to run it, without a ball, until they vomit.

The coach of the Spurs offers Coffee Black a position on the team. The now-former ABA commissioner offers Jackie a position on the staff of the NBA assistant commissioner, as a marketing director. Just as Jackie is about to accept, the commissioner is mauled by the bear Jackie wrestled with earlier.

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