- Directors: Josh Gordon, Will Speck
- Producers: Ben Stiller, Stuart Cornfeld, John Jacobs
- Writers: John Altschuler, Craig Cox, Jeff Cox, Dave Krinsky, Story by Busy Philipps
- Genres: Comedy, Romance, Sport
- Actors: Will Ferrell, Jon Heder, Will Arnett, Amy Poehler, William Fichtner, Jenna Fischer, Romany Malco, Nick Swardson, Rob Corddry, Craig T Nelson
At the 2003 World Winter Sport Games, rival men’s singles skaters Chazz Michael Michaels (Will Ferrell), a skillful skater but raunchy sex addict and Jimmy MacElroy (Jon Heder), a talented but girly skater tie for gold and an argument ensues on the awards podium. It quickly develops into a fight. Having disgraced their sport, they both are stripped of their gold medals, and receive a lifetime ban from men’s singles competition. Jimmy’s billionaire adoptive father Darren MacElroy (William Fichtner) disowns him and leaves him on the side of the road.
Three and a half years later, Jimmy is working at a winter sporting goods store and gets demoted to sorting out the stock when he refuses to listen to a customer telling him her skating boot is too tight. Chazz skates in the kiddie skating show ‘Grublets on Ice’ as the ‘Evil Wizard,’ has gained a lot of weight, and gets fired from his job for being in a drunken stupor on stage. Jimmy’s stalker Hector (Nick Swardson) tells him of a loophole in the ban: he is banned only from singles skating and can still compete in pair skating or ice dancing. Jimmy contacts his old coach (Craig T. Nelson), but is unable to find a female partner. Jimmy’s search for a partner leads him to Chazz, and his coach convinces the two of them to join up as a same-sex pairs team, because of a loophole in the regulations (also found by Jimmy’s stalker Hector) that fails to state the genders of the pairs and dance team.
Meanwhile, Stranz and Fairchild perform their routine, a dramatization of the “forbidden romance” of JFK and Marilyn Monroe. Both Chazz and Jimmy arrive separately in the ice rink just in time to compete. Chazz and Jimmy reconcile quickly (Chazz telling Jimmy and the entire arena that “Katie is not a whore”) and begin their routine, which has a science fiction theme. Fairchild, seeing the two doing extremely well, throws a pearl from her costume onto the ice. Chazz trips over the pearl and breaks his ankle, which renders him unable to perform his role in the Iron Lotus. Jimmy then offers to switch places with him. Although they have never practiced the other’s roles (and it took hundreds of tries for Chazz to not decapitate a test dummy), they perform the Iron Lotus perfectly. Jimmy and Chazz win the competition, Jimmy reconciles with Katie, and Stranz and Fairchild are arrested due to the kidnappings as well as Stranz shooting the mascot. Stranz and Fairchild begin arguing, then kiss each other incestuously. They get the silver medal while Jimmy and Chazz receive the glorious gold and fly off into the sky (literally, through some sort of rockets on their skates). While the credits are rolling, Hector is seen playing with dolls of himself, Jimmy and Chazz.