- Directors: Guy Ritchie
- Producers: Matthew Vaughn
- Writers: Guy Ritchie
- Genres: Comedy, Crime, Thriller
- Actors: Jason Statham, Stephen Graham, Dennis Farina, Vinnie Jones, Brad Pitt, Alan Ford, Lennie James, Ade, Robbie Gee, Benicio del Toro, Mike Reid
The movie begins with Turkish (Jason Statham) narrating. In Antwerp a valuable 86 carat diamond is stolen. Franky “Four-Fingers” (Benicio del Toro) takes the stone to London, but one of the Russian thieves tells him he can get a gun from Boris the Blade (Rade Serbedzija). Meanwhile Turkish and Tommy, who work in the world of unlicensed boxing matches, are preparing their fighter, Gorgeous George (Adam Fogerty) for a match. Turkish sends Tommy, his cowardly, dim-witted accomplice, to go buy a new caravan. Turkish then notices Tommy has a gun bought from Boris the Blade, as they are dealing with the leader of the unlicensed boxing world, Brick Top (Alan Ford). Brick Top is a dangerous crime lord in London who kills people who displease him, and then feeds them to pigs. He’s counting on Turkish to win this fight, which means they cannot let him down.
The Russian tells Boris that he sent Franky to buy a gun, so Boris plans to steal the stone. In New York, Jewish crime boss Abraham “Cousin Avi” Denovitz (Dennis Farina) is told Franky has the stone. Avi tells Franky to visit his cousin in London, Doug the Head (Mike Reid), an expert, so that they can sell the stone for what it’s worth. Avi also warns Franky (who is a compulsive gambler) to stay away from the casinos, especially with the diamond in tow. Franky then visits Boris, who offers him a gun if he places down a bet for an unlicensed boxing match at a bookies in Boris’ name.
The next day, the Pikeys are revealed to have left their campsite. While Turkish and Tommy are at where the Pikeys originally were, the cops show up and question them. Vinny’s dog then shows up, and they claim they were taking it for a walk. The cops let them go, and they both drive by Sol and Vinny who are also being questioned as to why they have Franky and Tony’s body in their trunk. We then cut back to the beginning of the film where Turkish and Tommy are in a room with an unknown man who is revealed to be Doug the Head. They ask him if he knows anyone who’d be interested in this diamond. Doug calmly suggests “he might”, and then calls up Avi, and who promptly heads back to London.